Day to day life

Well I could start this again by saying how sorry I am for not keeping up with updates but in truth I'm not sorry. Life has thrown me so may curveballs that this blog took a backseat. Mr. Big and I moved in together back in July and I went from being a full time working single Mom to a stay at home Mom who does minimal part time hours from home. This was and is still an adjustement but I am loving it. Over the summer I got to spend everyday with the five of our munchkins. Yes I typed that correct, five. I have three beautiful munchkins: Alex age 7, Emma age 5, and Izzy age 2. Whereas Mr. Big has two handsome boys: Austin age 7 and Sebastian age 3. Mr. Big has two ex-step children who are still a very big part of his life and are now a big part of my life. There is never a dull moment at our house. Now with school starting it has become a little less hectic during weekdays seeing as I only have two home with me but now the days are filling up with things for us to go out and do. From story times at our local library to speech lessons to running errands I almost have to schedule days to just stay home and clean or relax.
I guess deciding to restart this blog on a night when I'm pretty under the weather was not the smartest idea. I am by no means a writer but normally I can come up with more then this little dribble. I guess I'm just going to call this a night and go and cuddle with the other half and hopefully that will help me to feel better.

T.G.I.F!!!!!

For some reason this week dragged like you wouldn't believe. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I'm still not used to working five days a week again. Ever since the end of December with the Holidays the office has either been closed, or one of my kids are sick, or I am sick and I have been working three or four day weeks. And yes a four day work week is way shorter then a five day one. I guess another contributing factor is that this is my "slow" week at work. And when I say slow I mean I'm only doing the equivalent of three peoples jobs whereas on my "busy" weeks I am doing as much as five people. But that's the argument that I am betting almost all employed people have, over worked and underpaid. I look forward to the day when I enjoy the work that I do and not start the countdown to Friday on Sunday afternoons. Granted being a single mom is putting the dream job on hold for awhile, photography is not exactly the most stable job, but I would love to even be able to go back to school for something stable. All this talk of the grants out there yet trying to find them and get them is not easy. Well there was a tangent that I completely didn't intend to write. Back to being happy that its Friday :) Going out with Mr. Big tonight, which is always a good time. Pretty sure this is just going to be low key though. Grabbing dinner and then a movie. Finally going to go and see The Women in Black. I had actually won free screening passes to this movie but ended up being sick on the night and then ran late when we tried to make it so didn't see it. I'm hoping that it turns out to be a good horror flick. I love to be scared as long as I'm not alone. The adrenaline rush that you get is worth it. I already have warned Mr. Big that I do tend to scream at horror movies so we will see how he reacts to that! Then a weekend home with my munchkins fixing valentines and baking. I think I'm actually going to go the cookie route this weekend and attempt to decorate the cookies to actually look like something. Possibly Elmo or Star Wars or Transformers. Almost forgot that my son is having a friend over this weekend so lets see how much hair I have left on Monday. Wish me luck and if it stays calm I swear I will get the cupcakes posted that I talked about weeks ago. Geez what a slacker I am!!!!

Head first, feet last.

Well I did it, I took the plunge and am now officially in a relationship again. Mr. Big and I are now a we. It was cute and hilarious and completely off the wall, but so so me. Its odd since my track record since my ex has not been stellar; a crazy, a stalker, and a felon theif, but you cant dwell on the past right. That's a lesson that I have learned and yet am still learning. I find myself comparing situations that are happening now to something that happened in the past. I am actively working on trying to just sit back and take things one day at a time but its hard. I am at my core a planner. Add in three kids and the planning becomes a necessity. After being burned multiple times I have a lot of problem with giving out that blind faith. I don't think that its easy for anyone but for me its extremely hard. I'm talking pulling teeth with no Novocaine or any of that fabulous laughing gas! But if I want to eventually find that one who is going to be the one then I have to put myself out there and be okay with the chance of falling. Just a quick little dribble for now :)

Isolation sucks, but it not an STD!

Have you ever felt completely isolated? The feeling of no matter the quantity or quality of friends or family you have that you’re still in it alone. Well you and me both. For some reason this funk has been going on and I’m banking on this being therapeutic because in all honesty I’m over it. If I sit and think about it I have been extremely selective and have a very small group of friends that I have let in. Bringing up a little bit of background to help explain this but I had my oldest when I was 18. Getting pregnant at 17 was not in the plans and according to the docs not able to happen, but it did. I was a partier and when that stick had the plus sign on it that stopped. Don’t get me wrong that was for the best obviously but in that moment is when I can see now that I started to close myself off. I stopped hanging out with a lot of the people I did, again not a bad thing, but I never gave them the chance of changing as well.

Then being in a six year relationship with someone who was a bit controlling helped thin that out more. I became friends with his friends but their loyalties were to him and when everything came to a head I no longer talked to them either. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not a complete loner but I can count on two hands the people I still count as friends. Well with that said we are all going it what seems separate directions. Oops is finishing school so we rarely talk or hang out. Tee just went back to school so the same thing. Then there’s Ash who works an opposite schedule of mine and has a three month old, or Trish who has two munchkins and is a single mom with two jobs. I have attempted before to make new friends but that to me is hard.

Doing some deep soul searching, or whatever you want to call it, I know that I don’t let people in because then you get burned. But honestly I’m to the point where enough is enough. I’ve jumped back into the dating thing so why not make new friends? I’ve joined groups through meetup.com but find myself always coming up with a reason not to go or dragging someone I know along to keep me company. It’s always been easier that way. I guess its time to put on my big girl panties and make some friends. I miss girl’s nights out or in. I miss dishing over food about guys. I miss being able to complain about cramps to someone who can actually relate.

Minor OCD



So I have been clinically diagnosed with OCD and I often make fun of myself for it. Don't get me wrong it is a serious disorder and there are people out there who suffer from it so bad that it takes over and dramatically alters their lives. Thankfully mine is not that extreme. I do have the normal issues: even numbers freak me out, I have to triple check my doors, my closet is color coordinated, can labels all have to face forward, etc... I also can't deal with having my house be trashed. When it gets to a certain point it gets depressing and as much as I want to clean it I get into a funk where I literally cant. Well my kids room has been at that point for a while. It was to the point where I just avoided their room all together because I couldn't handle it. Just last month I had done a complete over haul on my craft / storage closet so I had  been trying to find the time to get into their room and do the same. Every time I would set aside time something would come up and I would just go back to avoiding the room. Well at about 3 a.m Monday morning Little Man woke up puking, all over his bed and floor, so needless to say he stayed home from school and I stayed home from work. After catching up on a little sleep and then getting him comfortable I decided to tackle the room. I knew it would take a little bit of time but what I wasn't counting on was it to take fricken six hours! I guess deciding to dump out all the toys and go through everything took longer then        

I thought but on the upside I was able to gather multiple bags of toys that they no longer play with to donate to one of our favorite charities, Families Helping Each Other. I know the founder of this charity personally and she is a great person. She has helped so many families including myself that whenever the kids and I can give back we do.   

Where did the weekend go????

I know I promised to get recipes up and another post on cupcakes, and trust me they will be coming tonight or tomorrow, but this weekend was jam packed. Yes I did bake a ton on Sunday, 3 different cupcake recipes and a muffin recipe all from scratch, but the frostings' wont be complete until tonight. I may have a problem with procrastinating and trying to fit too much in at once. Friday started out crappy at about 3a.m. Yep woke up and let me tell you sometimes it royally sucks to be a girl. With erring on the side of TMI, I started my period and I am a sufferer of horrible cramps and hands down feeling like ass. They used to be so bad that when I was younger they would warrant trips to the hospital. Well originally this last weekend was supposed to involve a lot of "adult" time with the guy I am dating, I'll call him Mr. Big, but that put a halt to that. Being a single Mom I don't get alot of time away from my munchkins but my Mother has started to take them every other weekend for one night so I can try to be a normal 25year old. Once I let Mr. Big know that the fun times planned were a no go and that if he didn't want to come over then that's fine he let me know that he didn't care what we did that he just wanted to spend time together :). So Friday night was spent with me in sweats watching movies and gorging on Chunky Monkey ice cream while Mr. Big rubbed my back. I definitely think he is a keeper so far. Then Saturday early afternoon was spent running errands with Mr. Big. Again I tried to tell him I would do everything on Sunday but regardless we got everything done before heading back to my place since again I felt like crap so once again he rubbed my back and watched a movie while my crappy feeling self ended up taking a nap. Saturday night was spent at Monster Jam, haven't been to one in years but had fun and realized that I will be bringing the kids to them next year again. Then Sunday afternoon after Mr. Big left and my munchkins came home all day was spent baking. Once again my procrastinating got to me and I neglected to realize that not only did I have to mix 4 different batters but then I also had to bake them and since I live in an apartment with a crappy oven only one cupcake pan can go in at a time or they wont cook evenly! Well that was just a quick update, I have at least three other blog posts that I am sitting on so those should get out eventually :)

Back to Baking

Well as everyone who personally knows me knows I love to cook. Finding new recipes or coming up with my own is always fun. Not everything I come up with turns out but I have three (not so) willing taste testers at home and because I am Mom they have to eat! One day I’m sure that they will catch on that if they don’t eat I’m actually not going to let them starve, but while they still have that fear I am going to use it.

What a lot of people don’t know is I also have a passion for baking cupcakes. Not so much anything else but I love cupcakes. Before it was all about just decorating them so I used to always stick with simple boxed cakes. Now I much rather make them from scratch. Don’t get me wrong boxed mixes are ok but once you have that cake made from scratch you will definitely taste the difference. Finding the time to bake is often difficult so it generally just got forgotten but I have lately realized that I miss it terribly so I am actively dedicating time to it. It also might help that I may like someone who happens to enjoy baked goods and you know what they say “A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”! Plus my kids love that they get to help decorate again.

With that being said I made my first batch of cupcakes this past weekend. I saw this idea last summer but never had the time until now so I give you

I may have cheated with these and used a boxed cake mix but I also added a couple extra ingredients (sshhh they have sour cream in them!) I know sounds horrid but it helps keep the cake moist.

 After making the cake mix I separated it into 6, what I thought were equal, bowls and then used food coloring to make my colors. Make sure to use gel food coloring to get the vibrant colors.

Then it was time for the homemade frosting. My thoughts were since I used a French vanilla cake mix that strawberry frosting sounded the best well I have a younger sister who is allergic to strawberries so I decided to be creative. I made a simple butter cream frosting recipe and then added Strawberry Nesquik Powder! The frosting came out tasting just like strawberry milk and she was able to eat them with no risk of a reaction.

The true gem of these cupcakes is when you bite or cut into them! These definitely took longer to prepare but if you have the help of another adult it should go faster. I don’t have the recipes with me now but I will get them up in another blog post hopefully tonight.