Day to day life

Well I could start this again by saying how sorry I am for not keeping up with updates but in truth I'm not sorry. Life has thrown me so may curveballs that this blog took a backseat. Mr. Big and I moved in together back in July and I went from being a full time working single Mom to a stay at home Mom who does minimal part time hours from home. This was and is still an adjustement but I am loving it. Over the summer I got to spend everyday with the five of our munchkins. Yes I typed that correct, five. I have three beautiful munchkins: Alex age 7, Emma age 5, and Izzy age 2. Whereas Mr. Big has two handsome boys: Austin age 7 and Sebastian age 3. Mr. Big has two ex-step children who are still a very big part of his life and are now a big part of my life. There is never a dull moment at our house. Now with school starting it has become a little less hectic during weekdays seeing as I only have two home with me but now the days are filling up with things for us to go out and do. From story times at our local library to speech lessons to running errands I almost have to schedule days to just stay home and clean or relax.
I guess deciding to restart this blog on a night when I'm pretty under the weather was not the smartest idea. I am by no means a writer but normally I can come up with more then this little dribble. I guess I'm just going to call this a night and go and cuddle with the other half and hopefully that will help me to feel better.

Isolation sucks, but it not an STD!

Have you ever felt completely isolated? The feeling of no matter the quantity or quality of friends or family you have that you’re still in it alone. Well you and me both. For some reason this funk has been going on and I’m banking on this being therapeutic because in all honesty I’m over it. If I sit and think about it I have been extremely selective and have a very small group of friends that I have let in. Bringing up a little bit of background to help explain this but I had my oldest when I was 18. Getting pregnant at 17 was not in the plans and according to the docs not able to happen, but it did. I was a partier and when that stick had the plus sign on it that stopped. Don’t get me wrong that was for the best obviously but in that moment is when I can see now that I started to close myself off. I stopped hanging out with a lot of the people I did, again not a bad thing, but I never gave them the chance of changing as well.

Then being in a six year relationship with someone who was a bit controlling helped thin that out more. I became friends with his friends but their loyalties were to him and when everything came to a head I no longer talked to them either. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not a complete loner but I can count on two hands the people I still count as friends. Well with that said we are all going it what seems separate directions. Oops is finishing school so we rarely talk or hang out. Tee just went back to school so the same thing. Then there’s Ash who works an opposite schedule of mine and has a three month old, or Trish who has two munchkins and is a single mom with two jobs. I have attempted before to make new friends but that to me is hard.

Doing some deep soul searching, or whatever you want to call it, I know that I don’t let people in because then you get burned. But honestly I’m to the point where enough is enough. I’ve jumped back into the dating thing so why not make new friends? I’ve joined groups through meetup.com but find myself always coming up with a reason not to go or dragging someone I know along to keep me company. It’s always been easier that way. I guess its time to put on my big girl panties and make some friends. I miss girl’s nights out or in. I miss dishing over food about guys. I miss being able to complain about cramps to someone who can actually relate.

Minor OCD



So I have been clinically diagnosed with OCD and I often make fun of myself for it. Don't get me wrong it is a serious disorder and there are people out there who suffer from it so bad that it takes over and dramatically alters their lives. Thankfully mine is not that extreme. I do have the normal issues: even numbers freak me out, I have to triple check my doors, my closet is color coordinated, can labels all have to face forward, etc... I also can't deal with having my house be trashed. When it gets to a certain point it gets depressing and as much as I want to clean it I get into a funk where I literally cant. Well my kids room has been at that point for a while. It was to the point where I just avoided their room all together because I couldn't handle it. Just last month I had done a complete over haul on my craft / storage closet so I had  been trying to find the time to get into their room and do the same. Every time I would set aside time something would come up and I would just go back to avoiding the room. Well at about 3 a.m Monday morning Little Man woke up puking, all over his bed and floor, so needless to say he stayed home from school and I stayed home from work. After catching up on a little sleep and then getting him comfortable I decided to tackle the room. I knew it would take a little bit of time but what I wasn't counting on was it to take fricken six hours! I guess deciding to dump out all the toys and go through everything took longer then        

I thought but on the upside I was able to gather multiple bags of toys that they no longer play with to donate to one of our favorite charities, Families Helping Each Other. I know the founder of this charity personally and she is a great person. She has helped so many families including myself that whenever the kids and I can give back we do.   

Where did the weekend go????

I know I promised to get recipes up and another post on cupcakes, and trust me they will be coming tonight or tomorrow, but this weekend was jam packed. Yes I did bake a ton on Sunday, 3 different cupcake recipes and a muffin recipe all from scratch, but the frostings' wont be complete until tonight. I may have a problem with procrastinating and trying to fit too much in at once. Friday started out crappy at about 3a.m. Yep woke up and let me tell you sometimes it royally sucks to be a girl. With erring on the side of TMI, I started my period and I am a sufferer of horrible cramps and hands down feeling like ass. They used to be so bad that when I was younger they would warrant trips to the hospital. Well originally this last weekend was supposed to involve a lot of "adult" time with the guy I am dating, I'll call him Mr. Big, but that put a halt to that. Being a single Mom I don't get alot of time away from my munchkins but my Mother has started to take them every other weekend for one night so I can try to be a normal 25year old. Once I let Mr. Big know that the fun times planned were a no go and that if he didn't want to come over then that's fine he let me know that he didn't care what we did that he just wanted to spend time together :). So Friday night was spent with me in sweats watching movies and gorging on Chunky Monkey ice cream while Mr. Big rubbed my back. I definitely think he is a keeper so far. Then Saturday early afternoon was spent running errands with Mr. Big. Again I tried to tell him I would do everything on Sunday but regardless we got everything done before heading back to my place since again I felt like crap so once again he rubbed my back and watched a movie while my crappy feeling self ended up taking a nap. Saturday night was spent at Monster Jam, haven't been to one in years but had fun and realized that I will be bringing the kids to them next year again. Then Sunday afternoon after Mr. Big left and my munchkins came home all day was spent baking. Once again my procrastinating got to me and I neglected to realize that not only did I have to mix 4 different batters but then I also had to bake them and since I live in an apartment with a crappy oven only one cupcake pan can go in at a time or they wont cook evenly! Well that was just a quick update, I have at least three other blog posts that I am sitting on so those should get out eventually :)

I swear I'm not dead...

Well damn I feel like a douchette right now. It has been over a week since the last blog post. I swore that this time around I wouldn't do that. In my defense however, this chick has been BUSY. No joke it has been constant running around and doing crap.

My Grandmas 90th birthday is coming up next week, June 9th, and Unc had decided a while ago to plan a surprise birthday party. Well the creative members of the family would be Oops and myself so guess who has stepped up and been planning their asses off for the last month. Yep that would be our two genius selves.

Its not like we both have nothing to do, on her end she is going through the deployment of Army Man and all that entails plus her school crap, then you have my end which involves being a full time single mommy, full time worker, and add in my school crap and damn I don't think either one of us has been to bed before 1a.m in the last two weeks. If my predictions are correct tonight will be an all nighter or if we are lucky we will get a couple of hours of sleep. We still have to make the food that we are responsible for, a cake and cupcakes, t-shirts, and road signs.

Oh and try to get to the gym every night for at least an hour, can't forget that. This is mainly my fault. I went a little tattoo crazy recently, went from zero to five in about a month, and the last two were both on my feet so no tennis shoes for a total of three weeks. That three weeks was up a week ago and I have been busting my backside as much as I can. I go in next Thursday to start my back piece that will keep me out of the gym for at least five days. This will be multiple sessions so I for sure have to plan my life down to the minute for the next month and a half or so.

I swear normally I would have a crap ton of insanity to write about but with everything going on lately I haven't been able to venture out and just let loose. This weekend I will be around a ton of extended family so I am positive that craziness will ensue. Not to mention that I have a babysitter for a couple hours Saturday night so hello bar and Buckhunter! I will leave you with this lovely quote that happened to spew out of my unfiltered mouth last night "I love my pole and always want to be close to it". Yep I have said worse but this was the most recent.