How do I still have hair

Have you ever felt like giving up? Simply just throwing up your hands and saying frack it I just don't care anymore!?! Well I feel like I am stuck here. I just can't seem to pull myself out of this slump. Right now I can pin point two causes but there may be more.

The first cause, my kids. More specifically my kids attitudes. I literally want to pull my hair out. The oldest isn't even nine and I find myself cringing thinking about the teenage years. I try so hard not to raise my voice and then before I know it I'm yelling at one or more of them for doing something that they know better not to or just makes absolutely no sense why they did it. The oldest know not to talk back. This was a major rule that he was taught since a toddler, well now not a conversation happens with out him talking back.

Then you have the second oldest who is resorts to whining about any and everything. He especially turns it on when his Dad is around or when he is talking to his biological Mom. It will go from normal tone when talking to me to the second his Dad walks in he is whining up a storm. It drives me up a wall!

Now the oldest girl and middle child can be summed up in two words, DRAMA QUEEN! Every little thing is blown way out of proportion. Take this morning for instance, she was told to get dressed for school and instead of just getting her clothes out she went into a meltdown of not having anything to wear! I'm talking full on screaming, kicking, snot running down her face and hiccuping. She is six! She has a closet full of clothes. When I told her she needed to knock it off and calm down she looked at me like I was crazy. What is she going to be like as a hormonal teenager! Oh my goodness, prepare world, PRE-fricken-PARE!!!

Then the second youngest and youngest boy. He is so flip flop. He can go from being the sweetest, kindest, little helper to a crazed child in .1 seconds flat. One example he decided to take a toy from the youngest because she was "thinking about writing on it" this threw her into a fit and when I told him to give it back he threw it at her. Not gently handed or even tossed, but chucked it at her. That earned him a time out and he was sent to his room. This led to stomping up the stairs, an almost slammed door(told him to stop before he did it), and then almost 10 minutes of blood curdling screams on how unfair it was.

Now the youngest, where even to start. Whoever came up with the phrase "terrible twos" knew nothing! She started at two and never stopped. Yes she is only three now but there is no calming down yet, if anything she gets crazier and crazier. She is constantly screwing with the other kids and making them freak out. She loves to take things that are not hers and take off running. And don't get me started on my makeup. Keeping her out of that is a chore in itself.

I don't want to raise my voice to them anymore but find myself at a brick wall with coming up with something else that works. Time outs? Ha yeah right. They do their time, get out of the corner, and I swear within 10 minutes do the exact same thing again. We tried making them do exercise as punishment. Nope didn't work either. They thought it was fun and asked to do push ups all the time. I don't expect my kids to act like perfect little angels all the time but my goodness I am exhausted. I need to come up with different stratagies but so far nothing.

Until next time...

Starting Anew

So here it goes again. I am starting over on the blog front. I realize that I have done this multiple times. I decide to start blogging again and hype myself up and lay out all these goal and then never follow through. Its the same list of excuses, I'm too busy, the kids need me, I have to clean, I need to do laundry, I could go on and on but the real reason is I just get lazy.
   
 In addition to that I think its time that I admit that I started a blog with the idea in my head that it was going to be read by a bunch of people who would leave me encouraging comments and we'd start this weird camaraderie but that's not the case. Just the sheer volume of blogs out there makes that an insane idea. Plus I refuse to share on my own social media pages that I blog. It seems to much to have people who I know know reading anything I write. Hell what if I wrote about them.
 
We all are guilty of it. I personally have no one in my life that I am happy with all the time. Even my boyfriend, who is the love of my life, pisses me off at times. I know there are times when we both want to lock the other one in a room and leave them there for awhile. And that's the nice version that goes on in my head.
 
Now can you imagine what I think and or say about other people in my life who piss me off? I have one best friend who I love dearly and would go to the ends of the earth for but at times she's a SHITTY friend. There are others who never pick up a phone to call except when they need something and then there are ones who are more of glorified acquaintances then friends.
 
Part of the shotty friendships are my fault. I do get busy, I have five kids on a daily basis. When there's time with no kids, the first priority is time with my love. But come on. I'm sick of being the one to reach out, to always make the phone calls, to set up the dinners, to try to plan get togethers. Their reasoning, I moved. Yes I no longer live 5 minutes away but I didn't move states. At most we are an hour apart. Before the move, every single one of them supported it, even encouraged it. They saw how happy I was and told me to go for it. See not always shotty friends! But not long after I moved it became the one sided friendship.

 Maybe I didn't choose the best of friends but they are honestly great people. Maybe I need to make new friends but I've never been great at that. I'm a tough nut to crack but once we become friends its a different story. Then add in that my love has an ex-wife that had friends around this neighborhood but then burned those bridges. Unknowingly to me I befriended the one friend she had left around here(that we know of) and that completely blew up in my face. Its amazing that grown women can still revert to the he said, she said bullcrap. I didn't like high school drama the first time around and I can't stand it now.
   
Plus how do you make new friends in your late twenties? I'm a stay at home mom so there's no work friends(even though that didn't work before). I've joined Mom groups before and still felt like an outsider. There are always the older more established Moms that give me the brush off since I had my son at 18. Then there's the other group of younger Moms that only show up at the groups once or twice and then disappear. And the final group is the "regulars" they started the group and have been around the longest and are not okay with new people.
   
 Maybe I haven't found the right group yet, I don't know. I have made a couple connections with people but sadly its not the friendship where you call just to chat. I know it's partially my fault but maybe I'm not ready yet. One day.

 Now that I've excepted that this blog is going to just be an online journal for me maybe I will write more. If not it's not a big deal and if I do then 5 years down the line I can always look back and giggle or realize how different I am.

Blarg...Cleaning Overhaul

     Well this has been coming for sometime now but I'm finally starting the project of doing a complete deep cleaning/organizing/purging overhaul. Back in July of this year Mr. Big and I moved in together. Or more specifically my munchkins and I moved into his house. I used to live in an apartment to the logical step of living together was to move into his house.
     As you can imagine being a single Mother and living on my own with my kids for so long we had a ton of stuff. So basically you have two fully loaded households now trying to merge everything into the space of one of them. Think trying to park two SUVs in a two car garage. Ideally it all should fit but good luck getting out through one of the doors. Well seeing as both of us suffer from some minor OCD the clutter is not okay. It will literally drive us both insane. Not really conductive to raising 5 five kiddos if you ask me. I'd say about 50% of my belongings are still packed in boxes and taking up part of the garage. This is not ideal. I love Mr. Big and my new life but I would like for this to feel 100% like home. I'd say right now I'm sitting at a 75% feeling of home.
     So that brings me to the lovely operation clean house. Originally I had told myself that finishing two entire rooms a day would be no problem. Well as I am already almost three hours in and still working on one room I don't know how well that is going to turn out. I guess I neglected to take into account the two munchkins at home with me who have now decided that they can only play in the room I am in or the fact that I am dealing with some things that are pushing my stress to an insane high, oh and did I forget to mention I went to the Chiropractor last time for my first adjustment in oh seven years. Yeah I am in a little a lot of pain and trying to sit and take the time to do all the stretches is proving difficult. And yes I am neglecting the cleaning for the little bit of time its going to take me to write this but hey I'm entitled to a little break.
      Well onto the first room I am tackling. Its the living room. Out of all the rooms this is probably going to be the easiest but its also one of the ones where we spend most of our time. So far I have emptied the back shelf of stuff that doesn't belong, dusted, cleaned up all the toys, got rid of all the papers, and fixed the movie collection. Yes this doesn't sound like much in type but trust me it was. Left on the checklist I still have to sweep, vacuum, and clean the coffee table and window seat. If I really push myself I should be able to get this done in the next hour. Worst part about getting this room done... the next room is going to be the kitchen. And let me tell you that is the second worst. Once I get to the basement I'm in trouble. Its literally a disaster area down there. If i'm not heard from for a couple of days someone should probably send a search party. I'll more then likely be buried under an avalanche of toys.
   

Change is good

Well for quite sometime now I have been unhappy with my job. I have worked for the same company for over 5 years. Originally I worked full time in the office but ever since my move I was working part time from home as a way to help them out. Well I had called into the office yesterday on a completely unrelated subject to then be asked if I could come in and train my replacement. This came out of nowhere and I wasn't even going to be told until I drove into the office. Which is more than an hour round trip and close to 60 miles! Not only have I been going out of my way to accommodate them but then I find out that they have been looking for a replacement for awhile and had hired someone over two weeks ago.
No longer having this job is not the end of the world but what has me upset is the way it was done. Maybe just a heads up that they were replacing me would have been decent. A phone call or at the minimum an email. I guess if I really think about it I shouldn't be surprised on how this all went down. The owners of the company have gone from upstanding respectable married couple to divorcing bitter owners who were, and could still be, practicing illegal billing practices. I don't know for sure since I am so far removed from the office but it is my experience that people who get away with something once tend to revert to doing it again. This is no longer my concern seeing as I am no longer an employee.
The immature side of me hopes that they crash and burn but the mature side of me just doesn't care anymore. Mr. Big gave me some of the best advice, "Yes it feels sucky to be laid off and yes the way they went about it was utter bullshit but look at it this way... We don't really need the income and now all the headaches and stress associated with the job are gone." As simple as that sounds it was perfect.
No matter what has happened or what is to come I am going to be fine. I have 7 munchkins who always know how to make me smile and the worlds best boyfriend who knows exactly what to say to make me feel better no matter how crappy, angry, stressed, or sad I feel. Plus another bonus now I have even more time with my munchkins and maybe I can get to all the cleaning, crafts, and projects I have been planning and pinning on pinterest! I may even get back to blogging more :)

Day to day life

Well I could start this again by saying how sorry I am for not keeping up with updates but in truth I'm not sorry. Life has thrown me so may curveballs that this blog took a backseat. Mr. Big and I moved in together back in July and I went from being a full time working single Mom to a stay at home Mom who does minimal part time hours from home. This was and is still an adjustement but I am loving it. Over the summer I got to spend everyday with the five of our munchkins. Yes I typed that correct, five. I have three beautiful munchkins: Alex age 7, Emma age 5, and Izzy age 2. Whereas Mr. Big has two handsome boys: Austin age 7 and Sebastian age 3. Mr. Big has two ex-step children who are still a very big part of his life and are now a big part of my life. There is never a dull moment at our house. Now with school starting it has become a little less hectic during weekdays seeing as I only have two home with me but now the days are filling up with things for us to go out and do. From story times at our local library to speech lessons to running errands I almost have to schedule days to just stay home and clean or relax.
I guess deciding to restart this blog on a night when I'm pretty under the weather was not the smartest idea. I am by no means a writer but normally I can come up with more then this little dribble. I guess I'm just going to call this a night and go and cuddle with the other half and hopefully that will help me to feel better.

T.G.I.F!!!!!

For some reason this week dragged like you wouldn't believe. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I'm still not used to working five days a week again. Ever since the end of December with the Holidays the office has either been closed, or one of my kids are sick, or I am sick and I have been working three or four day weeks. And yes a four day work week is way shorter then a five day one. I guess another contributing factor is that this is my "slow" week at work. And when I say slow I mean I'm only doing the equivalent of three peoples jobs whereas on my "busy" weeks I am doing as much as five people. But that's the argument that I am betting almost all employed people have, over worked and underpaid. I look forward to the day when I enjoy the work that I do and not start the countdown to Friday on Sunday afternoons. Granted being a single mom is putting the dream job on hold for awhile, photography is not exactly the most stable job, but I would love to even be able to go back to school for something stable. All this talk of the grants out there yet trying to find them and get them is not easy. Well there was a tangent that I completely didn't intend to write. Back to being happy that its Friday :) Going out with Mr. Big tonight, which is always a good time. Pretty sure this is just going to be low key though. Grabbing dinner and then a movie. Finally going to go and see The Women in Black. I had actually won free screening passes to this movie but ended up being sick on the night and then ran late when we tried to make it so didn't see it. I'm hoping that it turns out to be a good horror flick. I love to be scared as long as I'm not alone. The adrenaline rush that you get is worth it. I already have warned Mr. Big that I do tend to scream at horror movies so we will see how he reacts to that! Then a weekend home with my munchkins fixing valentines and baking. I think I'm actually going to go the cookie route this weekend and attempt to decorate the cookies to actually look like something. Possibly Elmo or Star Wars or Transformers. Almost forgot that my son is having a friend over this weekend so lets see how much hair I have left on Monday. Wish me luck and if it stays calm I swear I will get the cupcakes posted that I talked about weeks ago. Geez what a slacker I am!!!!

Head first, feet last.

Well I did it, I took the plunge and am now officially in a relationship again. Mr. Big and I are now a we. It was cute and hilarious and completely off the wall, but so so me. Its odd since my track record since my ex has not been stellar; a crazy, a stalker, and a felon theif, but you cant dwell on the past right. That's a lesson that I have learned and yet am still learning. I find myself comparing situations that are happening now to something that happened in the past. I am actively working on trying to just sit back and take things one day at a time but its hard. I am at my core a planner. Add in three kids and the planning becomes a necessity. After being burned multiple times I have a lot of problem with giving out that blind faith. I don't think that its easy for anyone but for me its extremely hard. I'm talking pulling teeth with no Novocaine or any of that fabulous laughing gas! But if I want to eventually find that one who is going to be the one then I have to put myself out there and be okay with the chance of falling. Just a quick little dribble for now :)

Isolation sucks, but it not an STD!

Have you ever felt completely isolated? The feeling of no matter the quantity or quality of friends or family you have that you’re still in it alone. Well you and me both. For some reason this funk has been going on and I’m banking on this being therapeutic because in all honesty I’m over it. If I sit and think about it I have been extremely selective and have a very small group of friends that I have let in. Bringing up a little bit of background to help explain this but I had my oldest when I was 18. Getting pregnant at 17 was not in the plans and according to the docs not able to happen, but it did. I was a partier and when that stick had the plus sign on it that stopped. Don’t get me wrong that was for the best obviously but in that moment is when I can see now that I started to close myself off. I stopped hanging out with a lot of the people I did, again not a bad thing, but I never gave them the chance of changing as well.

Then being in a six year relationship with someone who was a bit controlling helped thin that out more. I became friends with his friends but their loyalties were to him and when everything came to a head I no longer talked to them either. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not a complete loner but I can count on two hands the people I still count as friends. Well with that said we are all going it what seems separate directions. Oops is finishing school so we rarely talk or hang out. Tee just went back to school so the same thing. Then there’s Ash who works an opposite schedule of mine and has a three month old, or Trish who has two munchkins and is a single mom with two jobs. I have attempted before to make new friends but that to me is hard.

Doing some deep soul searching, or whatever you want to call it, I know that I don’t let people in because then you get burned. But honestly I’m to the point where enough is enough. I’ve jumped back into the dating thing so why not make new friends? I’ve joined groups through meetup.com but find myself always coming up with a reason not to go or dragging someone I know along to keep me company. It’s always been easier that way. I guess its time to put on my big girl panties and make some friends. I miss girl’s nights out or in. I miss dishing over food about guys. I miss being able to complain about cramps to someone who can actually relate.

Minor OCD



So I have been clinically diagnosed with OCD and I often make fun of myself for it. Don't get me wrong it is a serious disorder and there are people out there who suffer from it so bad that it takes over and dramatically alters their lives. Thankfully mine is not that extreme. I do have the normal issues: even numbers freak me out, I have to triple check my doors, my closet is color coordinated, can labels all have to face forward, etc... I also can't deal with having my house be trashed. When it gets to a certain point it gets depressing and as much as I want to clean it I get into a funk where I literally cant. Well my kids room has been at that point for a while. It was to the point where I just avoided their room all together because I couldn't handle it. Just last month I had done a complete over haul on my craft / storage closet so I had  been trying to find the time to get into their room and do the same. Every time I would set aside time something would come up and I would just go back to avoiding the room. Well at about 3 a.m Monday morning Little Man woke up puking, all over his bed and floor, so needless to say he stayed home from school and I stayed home from work. After catching up on a little sleep and then getting him comfortable I decided to tackle the room. I knew it would take a little bit of time but what I wasn't counting on was it to take fricken six hours! I guess deciding to dump out all the toys and go through everything took longer then        

I thought but on the upside I was able to gather multiple bags of toys that they no longer play with to donate to one of our favorite charities, Families Helping Each Other. I know the founder of this charity personally and she is a great person. She has helped so many families including myself that whenever the kids and I can give back we do.   

Where did the weekend go????

I know I promised to get recipes up and another post on cupcakes, and trust me they will be coming tonight or tomorrow, but this weekend was jam packed. Yes I did bake a ton on Sunday, 3 different cupcake recipes and a muffin recipe all from scratch, but the frostings' wont be complete until tonight. I may have a problem with procrastinating and trying to fit too much in at once. Friday started out crappy at about 3a.m. Yep woke up and let me tell you sometimes it royally sucks to be a girl. With erring on the side of TMI, I started my period and I am a sufferer of horrible cramps and hands down feeling like ass. They used to be so bad that when I was younger they would warrant trips to the hospital. Well originally this last weekend was supposed to involve a lot of "adult" time with the guy I am dating, I'll call him Mr. Big, but that put a halt to that. Being a single Mom I don't get alot of time away from my munchkins but my Mother has started to take them every other weekend for one night so I can try to be a normal 25year old. Once I let Mr. Big know that the fun times planned were a no go and that if he didn't want to come over then that's fine he let me know that he didn't care what we did that he just wanted to spend time together :). So Friday night was spent with me in sweats watching movies and gorging on Chunky Monkey ice cream while Mr. Big rubbed my back. I definitely think he is a keeper so far. Then Saturday early afternoon was spent running errands with Mr. Big. Again I tried to tell him I would do everything on Sunday but regardless we got everything done before heading back to my place since again I felt like crap so once again he rubbed my back and watched a movie while my crappy feeling self ended up taking a nap. Saturday night was spent at Monster Jam, haven't been to one in years but had fun and realized that I will be bringing the kids to them next year again. Then Sunday afternoon after Mr. Big left and my munchkins came home all day was spent baking. Once again my procrastinating got to me and I neglected to realize that not only did I have to mix 4 different batters but then I also had to bake them and since I live in an apartment with a crappy oven only one cupcake pan can go in at a time or they wont cook evenly! Well that was just a quick update, I have at least three other blog posts that I am sitting on so those should get out eventually :)

Back to Baking

Well as everyone who personally knows me knows I love to cook. Finding new recipes or coming up with my own is always fun. Not everything I come up with turns out but I have three (not so) willing taste testers at home and because I am Mom they have to eat! One day I’m sure that they will catch on that if they don’t eat I’m actually not going to let them starve, but while they still have that fear I am going to use it.

What a lot of people don’t know is I also have a passion for baking cupcakes. Not so much anything else but I love cupcakes. Before it was all about just decorating them so I used to always stick with simple boxed cakes. Now I much rather make them from scratch. Don’t get me wrong boxed mixes are ok but once you have that cake made from scratch you will definitely taste the difference. Finding the time to bake is often difficult so it generally just got forgotten but I have lately realized that I miss it terribly so I am actively dedicating time to it. It also might help that I may like someone who happens to enjoy baked goods and you know what they say “A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”! Plus my kids love that they get to help decorate again.

With that being said I made my first batch of cupcakes this past weekend. I saw this idea last summer but never had the time until now so I give you

I may have cheated with these and used a boxed cake mix but I also added a couple extra ingredients (sshhh they have sour cream in them!) I know sounds horrid but it helps keep the cake moist.

 After making the cake mix I separated it into 6, what I thought were equal, bowls and then used food coloring to make my colors. Make sure to use gel food coloring to get the vibrant colors.

Then it was time for the homemade frosting. My thoughts were since I used a French vanilla cake mix that strawberry frosting sounded the best well I have a younger sister who is allergic to strawberries so I decided to be creative. I made a simple butter cream frosting recipe and then added Strawberry Nesquik Powder! The frosting came out tasting just like strawberry milk and she was able to eat them with no risk of a reaction.

The true gem of these cupcakes is when you bite or cut into them! These definitely took longer to prepare but if you have the help of another adult it should go faster. I don’t have the recipes with me now but I will get them up in another blog post hopefully tonight.

Hello Again

Ok what to say here except I MASSIVLY failed again at blogging. I swore that I wouldn’t abandon this blog like I did with my first foray into blogging but lo and behold I did. I can write all the excuses and reasons I want but I’m pretty sure that I used those in my last two blog posts. How many ways can someone say that life just is busy, hectic, insane, and ridiculous? Add in being a single mother of three and it turns into being chaotic. But I really want to make an honest go at this. Even if this never gets read by anyone but me it’s still a good outlet. Going back and reading what I wrote previously is always eye opening. It’s amazing how fast time goes when in the moment it feels like it is taking for-bleeping-ever. So instead of me apologizing I am just going to pretend that this is the beginning.

Well quick overview of who I am: single mom of three, full time worker, avid cooker, shoe junkie, tattoo enthusiast, etc. I was pursuing a degree in photography but decided on a more stable, yet ultimately more boring, career in medical management. I yawn even writing that but I need the stability for my kids. Doing the dating thing again and banking on this time it working. You have to always think positive but my track record after the ex has yielded a crazy person, then a minor stalker, then a two time felon! Yeah this time around I’m going to meet prince charming?!?

My oldest, Little Man is 7 now and I really need to stop calling him Little Man, seeing as he is a whopping 4’ tall already. Plus his feet are a whole inch and a half smaller then mine! Seeing as I am almost 5’ 8” I thought I would have a while before he would be looking down at me. Nope predictions are by the time he is 12 I get to stand on a chair to yell at him! He’s in first grade now and rocks in school. Top of his class and even likes to help out the other kids with math. At least we will have one math whiz in the house since I am math illiterate! I have calculators and internet for all that junk J

Then there is my mini me who is the Punk Rock Princess of the house. And yes you have to have the Punk Rock in front of the princess to make it okay with her. Biggest tomboy with loving to get dirty and play outside but has to be wearing a dress the entire time. Now living in freezing cold MN this tends to lead to many fights at 6:00a.m about having to wear jeans! And that is where her mini me name comes from. My 4yr old already has my attitude and my snarky sarcastic comebacks. Plus she knows how to turn any argument in her favor. I am in for a ride once she hits the teenage years!

Finally there is my little monster. My youngest is now 15months old and has to be the center of attention. As long as you are giving her that she is pretty chill and calm but the minute your not paying her attention she will either do something ridiculous or loud to get it back. And thanks to her lovely Aunt, who used to get her to stop crying by doing the “devil/growl” voice (think Anna Faris in House Bunny), she now loves to run around growling at people! Always a good conversation starter though.

Well there’s the intro into my own little fam. I already have another blog post stewing in my head so until tonight or tomorrow chickies…

Wow so I fell off the face of the earth!

     I told myself when I set out to start another blog that this one would not suffer the same fate as my first blog but sadly it did go down that path. I started this blog with the intention of keeping at it and using it as a good outlet. Well as normal real life got in the way.
     First before anything I am a single Mother to THREE kids and I do stress the single part. The father of my children has been MIA for 9months and hasnt spoken with them in 3months.You know it is what it is and I hope that one day they are able to reastablish a relationship. On top of that school has been wicked insane. I am in the midst of a possible transfer so thats adding in a ton of stress. Little Man only has 3weeks until school starts so that involves a lot of school shopping and clothing shopping.
     Also I have decided to get back to dating. Who knows why the hell I am stepping on that road but meh why not. Im overly busy but I can sneak in little moments here and there. I was with the ex for 6years and then was with the last boyfriend for four months before he went a little awkward. Best line ever "I'm falling in love with you so I think I need to be single"! Ha too funny. "Dated" another guy for a little bit but when I tried to say that I didnt see it going anywhere he went minorly stalkerish for a couple of days but has backed off. Now just having fun and talking to a couple of people. Dont get it twisted though "talking to" does not equal "hooking up" For some reason a lot of the male sex that I have come across seem to think they are the same.
     It blows my mind how many people have attempted to start communications to just and try to get in my pants. Yes I get it, I have three kids so obviously I have had sex, but this does not mean that I am easy. Is it really that hard to meet a good guy? I know they are out there but they can be hard to find.
     Time to get back to work and Im sure this is going to be a long night. I do have stories to share about all the shenanigans that have went down the last couple of months and there are more that are coming.

Massive fail...AGAIN...

Yep I know I failed again. When I decided to reenter the blogging world I knew that I was extremely busy but I was confident that I would be updating a ton more. Well life went from busy to insane and sadly blogging is what got pushed all the way to the back burner. I am in no ways giving it up this time though. I really want to keep going but I may just not be able to update daily as I first thought.

So what has been going on since the last post, well we had my Grandmas 90th Birthday surprise and it was fun. Lots of family and good food. I was right in my prediction that Oops and I would pull an all nighter on the Friday before. My ass even ended up napping with Izzy at the party and falling asleep with her early. What can I say I am a Mom and when a chance comes up for me to sleep I take it even if I really don't want to.

Work has been the same drama but for some reason this past week was worse than normal. Lots of yelling employees that don't understand the simplest of directions but what can you do. Once they yell for a couple of minutes they deflate and you just re-explain all the crap again and eventually they get it or you pass off the call to someone else.

The cousin Chedder graduated on Thursday! Uber excited for him and proud. That kid went through a lot and got through school. That was on Thursday June 9th. Which coincidentally was the day that I had originally set up my tattoo for.Well thankfully timing worked out and I was able to switch it to Friday. This is not my first but by far my biggest tattoo. It is going to take multiple sessions and more than likely wont be complete until middle to end of July. If I heal faster than I will push for the sessions to be closer together.

Little Man had his last day of kindergarten and I am not afraid to admit that I teared up a little. It is crazy how fast they grow up. Hell any day Rugrat might start crawling and as much as that fact excites me it also terrifies me. As of right now I am done having kids so to know that the last one is now 8months old is a little bittersweet. Well I know I promised funny stories and I swear normally I am a lot more insane but life has just been too busy lately. I must run now, my home is a disaster area and must be cleaned. I say that in all seriousness though, each room has been bombed apparently. So later all and I depart with a picture of the newest tattoo...

I swear I'm not dead...

Well damn I feel like a douchette right now. It has been over a week since the last blog post. I swore that this time around I wouldn't do that. In my defense however, this chick has been BUSY. No joke it has been constant running around and doing crap.

My Grandmas 90th birthday is coming up next week, June 9th, and Unc had decided a while ago to plan a surprise birthday party. Well the creative members of the family would be Oops and myself so guess who has stepped up and been planning their asses off for the last month. Yep that would be our two genius selves.

Its not like we both have nothing to do, on her end she is going through the deployment of Army Man and all that entails plus her school crap, then you have my end which involves being a full time single mommy, full time worker, and add in my school crap and damn I don't think either one of us has been to bed before 1a.m in the last two weeks. If my predictions are correct tonight will be an all nighter or if we are lucky we will get a couple of hours of sleep. We still have to make the food that we are responsible for, a cake and cupcakes, t-shirts, and road signs.

Oh and try to get to the gym every night for at least an hour, can't forget that. This is mainly my fault. I went a little tattoo crazy recently, went from zero to five in about a month, and the last two were both on my feet so no tennis shoes for a total of three weeks. That three weeks was up a week ago and I have been busting my backside as much as I can. I go in next Thursday to start my back piece that will keep me out of the gym for at least five days. This will be multiple sessions so I for sure have to plan my life down to the minute for the next month and a half or so.

I swear normally I would have a crap ton of insanity to write about but with everything going on lately I haven't been able to venture out and just let loose. This weekend I will be around a ton of extended family so I am positive that craziness will ensue. Not to mention that I have a babysitter for a couple hours Saturday night so hello bar and Buckhunter! I will leave you with this lovely quote that happened to spew out of my unfiltered mouth last night "I love my pole and always want to be close to it". Yep I have said worse but this was the most recent.

So maybe I have a problem...

So somehow my original post about this was deleted. Damn blogger gnomes leave my crap alone. I may be pretty computer savvy but I am easily frustrated by technology issues and have been known to threaten inanimate objects when they don't cooperate with me.

Well onto the main topic here. So the picture above is majority of my own shoe collection. The boots wouldn't fit in the picture so they don't count. The collection has completely over run the shoe shelves and now takes up half of my floor in the closet. I have been told by many of my friends and family that I have a little bit of a problem. I have even been told by Little Man that I am shoe addicted. Psssh I roll my eyes at that statement!

Yes I have a ton of shoes and yes some days I wear flip flops instead of heels but the true magic behind the shoes is that the minute I start to feel down I can throw on a pair of shoes and instantly feel better. When I know I am going to have a difficult day I wear heels and it gives me the power boost I need. Heels automatically make you feel and look better. You stand straighter and your legs look a mile long. And trust me as someone who some view as tall, 5' 7 1/2" (the docs refuse to let me say 5' 8"), I have short legs.

Some people say that since I turn to shoes to "make me happy" that I definitely have a problem and I should have a healthier outlet to make myself feel better. To those people I have this to say, let me be. I am not doing anything illegal nor am I hindering my or my children's lives. Do I have to have shoes, no. Will I freak out if I don't have them, no. But I enjoy them.

I think that everyone has their vices and as long as they are healthy and legal no one should knock them down. Well it has been two long weeks since I have been able to wear anything but flip flops (new tattoo's on both feet) and today was the first day I was able to wear heels and I rocked them. Well time to jump in the bath, another thing that has been missing for a while, and then get an early night.

Pre Packaged Boyfriend...

ngSo I have been sitting on the blog post for a couple of days, life was busy so no time to sit down and write. Well on Friday I had to get out of the office for a little bit, the level of craziness was higher than Mt. Everest, so I decided to get some Chinese food for lunch. I know, what the hell was I thinking, I always feel like shit about two hours after eating the food until I can crap and then I feel fine again. But damn it was so yummy eating it.

So there I am in line at the food court when the server asks me what I want, well as anyone who has ate food court Chinese you have a ton of choices and you build your entrée. Yes I get that you can do that a bunch of places, but I was bored hungry and in line for food and thought about crap so I don’t care.

So as I get my fried rice, mango chicken, and beef with broccoli I realize that I like multiple flavors within the same meal. Maybe this is why my small dating history never worked out. I am always on one side of the spectrum; I guess I need a mix. I have multiple interests so the other half should too. I look at Ex1 and see that he was exactly what I wanted/needed when I was 17 but as I grew I matured on a completely different path then him. Where as I still enjoyed some of the same things I became infinitely more interested in the art world, a world where he wanted nothing to do with.

Then you have the recent Ex, Ex2. We had tons in common. I mean it got to the point where it was almost scary. You name it we had it in common. From life experiences to music selection, to what was our favorite 80’s movie. Well as things got more serious little things would pop up that should have ended it from the beginning but I chose to ignore. Yes I got him to go to the theatre and he was interested but on huge life decisions we differed. I am all for gay marriage he was not. I could never marry someone who I didn’t live with prior; he would never live with someone who he wasn’t married to. Well eventually things ended. Side Note: I am falling in love with you so I need to be single! This was his break up reasoning. Most contradictory statement I have ever heard.

So with my lessons in taste I would like to find the take out counter where I can step up and order me a tall spontaneous guy, with a side of artistic interest and good morals to go. Now I am not so stuck up as to think that men don’t deserve a chance to step up and order a girlfriend so if anyone would like to order a laid back chick, with a side of spunk and compassion (with a shot of crazy) well then hell order me up!!!

The one and only Oops

So how to start with describing Oops, this could turn into one of the longest posts but I am going to try and keep it relatively short. She is family and older than me so if I really felt like it I could sit here and write years worth of info but really who would want to read that. I get blogs are windows into our lives but its not like you want to sit there and read someones entire life biography. Hell I wouldn't even want to read that much about myself. Maybe if I was famous but sadly I am not, except in my own world where I am the shit!

Well first off like I previously posted she is family, cousin to be exact. She is Unc's second oldest and closest to my age out of his pack. My Mom is the second youngest and Unc is the youngest out of all those kids, so our families were always around each other. Plus we lived relatively close to each other, St. Paul and Woodbury to be exact. All the other Aunts and Uncles lived around an hour away or more. Then you add in the aspect that my Mom was a single Mom so my Unc helped in the father figure role, along with my Gpa. This all added in us being around each other a lot.

The turning point that made us become so close was when she was introduced to her older sister's(C1) fiance's (at the time) group of friends. This was also around the same time that she moved out of Unc's house and in with Gma. I should mention that growing up my Mom always lived at my Grandparents so that was where I was raised..

Well C1 and her fiance(SB) ended it, he flipped and hurt her, and his house became a party house. Looking back now, even with all the conflicts between C1 and us, we should of stopped hanging out there but we were young and dumb and had stupid boy crushes so needless to say we still did. She had a crush on one boy, hehehehe I will call him Midget Arms (MA), and I had a little crush on another, I'll call him AT so of course we stayed hanging around. Eventually we both ended up hooking up with the respective guys. She actually ended up in a four year relationship with MA, I just hooked up with AT for a couple of months. That sounds horrible but its the truth and whatever.

This lead to her living at that house for a little while, until things went downhill with SB. Eventually her and MA moved in together and she only lived about five minutes away. I then got pregnant at 17 and she was a huge support for me through then. After having my son I realized that I wanted to go back and get my high school diploma and found an alternative school and dragged her with me. This then lead to us being together every Saturday morning so we became even closer.

Two and a half years later I was pregnant with my first daughter and having problems with the kid's father (Ex1). She was the one who I turned to repeatedly and no matter how down I was she would always pick me up and get me to laugh. Eventually Ex1 and I worked through things and were fine. Ex1 and I went through alot of ups and downs, broke up three times got back together and eventually we decided to have another baby. Well as it is known I did indeed get pregnant and at almost six months he ended things again. Some pretty nasty stuff was said on his part that being pregnant and hormonal really got me down, but guess who was there as one of my biggest supporters, yep Oops.

The time between Ex1 breaking up with me and me moving myself and the kids out, was a total of four days. A really long four days but I had to get out of there without him knowing the day. Of course Oops, along with my Mom, Zbag, and Chedder were there to help me pack up the entire house and get out of there all in one day. About two weeks later I moved into my own place and have been there since. Being a single pregnant Mom was not a cake walk, eventually Ex1 tried to come back into the picture, and stupid me entertained the idea but it never evolved into anything. There is a ton of story there but he is an Ex for a reason and I have moved past and refuse to dwell on it.

I have had to have three c-sections so that leads to at minimum a three day hospital stay. Well can you say inconvenient! With Little Man in school, even though, he and PRP could of went to Gma's I wanted them to be able to stay at home. Well Oops stepped up and stayed with my kids while I was in the hospital. They got to sleep in their own beds, got to school on time, and she brought them out to all their activities and parks.

I want to say it was about a month after I got home from the hospital when she basically moved in with me. She became the nanny to my kids and my roommate. Well living together we started to get inside jokes, who's turn it was to change Rugrat, bathe the other kids, cook dinner, etc... So that is how she became my husband. One late night of sleep deprivation and homework and we married ourselves. Pretty sure we laughed the entire night. Just thinking back now to some of the reactions when we would jokingly say it and people wouldn't know how to respond.

So how did she become my Ex-husband, well her and Army Man had been together for a long time but were broken up through the end of my pregnancy. Needless to say they got back together and are now married. Since bigamy is frowned on her and I had to divorce, and no people we never were in fact married, it was always just a joke. That pretty much covers everything. She now literally lives a hop, skip, and a jump away. A whopping total of 2minutes. Army Man is deploying so I am sure there will be a ton of insane moments this summer since we tend to bring out the crazy in each other.

Until next time...

The nutjobs that are family and friends

Kind of came to the conclusion that I should describe some of the characters who I call family and friends. Its pretty obvious that I am a mother of three so I want to introduce you all to Little Man, who is almost 7, Punk Rock Princess (PRP (do not ever refer to as just Princess she will attack)), just about 4, and Rugrat, who is a whopping 7months.

Being a single mom I am with them everyday and boy the stories I have. Other than the times that Grandma(my mother) takes them over night I don't get a lot of time away. Not complaining at all though. To start it off there is Gma, my mother, who helps me so much its unbelievable, and Great Gma, my grandma, who even at almost 90 always wants to help and spend time with my kids.

I have two younger siblings, well they are second cousins but Gma takes care of them, they are Midget 1(13) and Midget 2(11). I have an older sister but could care less about her, I will call her C2. C1 is Oops's older sister. The person that can get most confusing to describe is Oops. This chick is my best friend but also my cousin however I refer to and think of her as my sister and she is my ex-husband. Not to mention she is Godmother to Little Man. I'll give details in another post. Along with Oops you have Army Man who is her hubby and now my brother and Uncle to all my munchkins. He is deploying shortly so for the first time ever I hope this summer flies by for both of them.

Then there is my other best friend, Tee. She has been with me through so much and is someone who always looks out for the best, also a little crazy. She is Godmother to my youngest Rugrat. There is the long distance bestie who I was uber close to in highschool then we lost touch, well I was a bi*ch and lost touch, Nessa. Godmother to PRP who now claims that she is the reason Nessa comes to visit. There is my Unc who I am close to and was one of my main Father figures growing up and is now Godfather to PRP. Unc is really Oops's dad. Then there are her two brothers, Zbag (Little Man's Godfather) and Chedder (Rugrats Godfather). These two I also consider my younger brothers and trust me when I say they act like it. Little douches! Then there is one of my oldest friends, known her since grade school, Tray. This chick and I have done multitude of idiotic things and I am sure we will still.

I think I covered the main people who sporadically could pop up. If more make appearances then I will have to add them then.

Getting peed on is all good.

One of the many fun aspects of Motherhood, you get peed on. I tell you its always great when you wake up in the morning to find you stink. My lovely middle child, my Punk Rock Princess, decided to crawl into bed with me last night. Normally I would wake her up and walk her back to her room but I was exhausted. These coming weeks are completely overbooked with stuff to do so I vaguely remember her coming in my room but pretty sure I just rolled over.

Well big mistake on my part. Yep Mama woke up and I was peed on. She very rarly has accidents but of course it has to happen with me. In hindsight its not too bad, I mean its gross but I have been puked on, peed on, and even pooped on. Its all part of being a parent and not much you can do about it. I think the very first time I was peed on was when little man was maybe two weeks old and that's almost 7 years ago. Man eye opening to see how long it has been. Thinking back to yesterday toilets and using them was an ongoing theme.

Had to finish up the invites for my Grandma's 90th birthday so Oops and I were out running errands printing invites, envelopes, and maps. Well our conversations make absolutely no sense to the outside world and should probably not be said in public but no one has to listen. Well there was a lot of talk about how many times each of us crap a day and how long we wait after we eat, this all came up because I had the genius idea of having food court Chinese food for lunch, in my defense the orange chicken was yummy, and I was feeling pretty crappy. Well after leaving Wally World and getting in the car I felt horrible and my quote of the day "My life is flashing before my eyes and all I see is toilets". It made sense at the time and hell I'll still own it now, even with her blasting me on facebook! Sitting back and thinking about it makes me realize that this is nothing compared to what normally is said between us.

Gotta run, work is calling my name and as much as I want to ignore it the screams are becoming ridiculous.